


Heavy Stones Fear No Weather

by straightmale420



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, M/M, confessing without actually confessing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:15:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27916606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/straightmale420/pseuds/straightmale420
Summary: On a small balcony somewhere in Yorkshin, Leorio and Kurapika realize they fear the same thing.
Relationships: Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 7
Kudos: 83





	Heavy Stones Fear No Weather

Kurapika didn’t react when the door to the balcony creaked open. Leorio paused in the doorway for a moment, waiting for any sort of signal that would tell him to close the door and leave Kurapika to his thoughts.

Nothing. Leorio took that as a sign to step out, and he slid the door shut behind him. Two small steps, and he was by Kurapika’s side. He couldn’t quite read the expression on his face. Kurapika was good at that, concealing things.

“Are you okay?” Leorio asked after a long, empty silence. He wasn’t asking about the fever that Kurapika had been riding out for the past three days– he knew that was over. He knew how to treat a fever. How to nurse someone back to physical health. The shadows on Kurapika’s face weren’t cast by sickness. At least none that Leorio could see, no matter how long he studied medicine.

Leorio let his knuckles gently press against Kurapika’s shoulder, a light, uncertain touch that Kurapika could shy away from if he wanted to. It was a question, a gesture in lieu of the words Leorio knew he didn’t have the tongue to say. Kurapika, though terrifyingly distant, did not flinch at the contact. Slowly, Leorio spread his fingers and slid his palm carefully along Kurapika’s upper back until it came to rest on his other shoulder. For a while, they just stood there like that, looking out on the city lights– while distant laughter and the hum of faraway traffic made their little balcony feel deathly quiet. The only sound was the soft rustle of clothes as Leorio tightened his arm around Kurapika’s shoulders.

He wished he knew what to say. He wished he had something, anything to say that would soothe the gnashing waves in Kurapika’s heart, but Leorio had never been the most gracious in the way of words. Even if he had been, any sentence he could string together would probably feel like tossing ash to the wind. He didn’t know what Kurapika was going through. What he had been fighting his whole life. Leorio had no fucking clue. The little bits of information Kurapika had revealed in the time they’d known each other were just a handful of tiny pieces in a much, much larger picture. A picture Leorio wasn’t sure he had the stomach to handle.

The only thing Leorio knew for sure was that Kurapika had been through too much, and the burden he carried with him was way too heavy to carry alone.

And here Leorio stood. Helpless and lost at the edge of the chasm in Kurapika’s mind, with no means to bridge the gap. He had nothing to offer but a comforting touch and the desperate hope that it would make Kurapika feel at ease, at least for a fleeting moment.

Kurapika had been alone for so long, alone and lost with nothing and no one to turn to. Alone, despair and anger closing in from every conceivable angle, and–

Kurapika shifted. 

He didn’t meet Leorio’s eyes, not even close. Slowly, almost cautious, he turned and pressed his forehead to Leorio’s chest. Leorio wrapped his arms around him without thinking, the instinct to shield and protect _and keep Kurapika safe_ going haywire in his brain. 

With his face sufficiently buried in the fabric of Leorio’s suit jacket, Kurapika spoke.

“I’m really not,” he finally said. His voice was small and muffled, and it made something cold and unpleasant clench around Leorio’s heart.

“I haven’t been okay in a long time, Leorio.” Kurapika sighed, leaning into the embrace. “I don’t think I’ll ever be okay.”

A large, painful lump wedged itself in Leorio’s throat at that. He opened his mouth, but the lump prevented any sound from coming out. Instead he inhaled deeply, and resorted to rubbing circles on Kurapika’s back with his thumb.

“...But right now, right here,” Kurapika mumbled into his chest, fingers meekly curling into the fabric of Leorio’s jacket. “I come pretty close.”

The last part was uttered on a whisper, barely loud enough for Leorio to hear. Maybe he wasn’t supposed to.

“It scares me,” Kurapika said. His voice was deceivingly stern, but Leorio didn’t miss the way it frayed at the edges. “Being happy really, really scares me.”

“Why is that?” Leorio asked reluctantly.

“There’s so much to lose,” Kurapika replied after a long pause. The words were raw and vulnerable, and Leorio braced himself for the tide that would inevitably follow.

“I just–” Kurapika began, but his voice cracked. A telltale prerequisite to a sob. He went quiet for a beat, two, three. Under Leorio’s palms, he started to tremble.

“I don’t want to lose anyone anymore. No one else.” The last part left Kurapika’s mouth like it hurt. From what Leorio had gathered, it probably did. Kurapika’s past was a stubborn wound that refused to close. With a small, shaky breath, Kurapika wrapped his arms around Leorio’s waist.

And so Leorio held him, steadfast as Kurapika unraveled. Quiet sobs racked his body and he clung to Leorio as if he would fall through the floor and disappear if he didn’t. But Leorio wasn’t going anywhere. He held Kurapika until the storm blew over. Until there was nothing left in him but shallow breaths. Somewhere along the line, Leorio’s hand had found its way to Kurapika’s hair, mindlessly stroking the blonde locks like a mother comforting her child.

“You know,” Leorio whispered against the crown of Kurapika’s head. “I’m scared too.”

He heard Kurapika inhale against his chest.

“But I hold on to the things I’m scared of losing. I fight tooth and nail for it.”

“If you’re trying to preach, I really don’t understand what you mean,” Kurapika croaked, voice heavy and exhausted from crying.

“What I mean,” Leorio leaned back enough to look at Kurapika. His eyes were red and stubbornly avoided contact. “Is that I don’t want to lose you. So I keep you close. I’m not going to deny myself the happiness of knowing you just because something might happen in the future. I know you recklessly throw yourself headfirst into danger and that scares the shit out of me– which is all the more reason for me to hold onto you now. Because I’ll lose you one day.”

Kurapika’s eyes met his for the first time that night. Tired, red and wide. 

“You–” Kurapika rasped, somehow managing to sound exasperated through his weariness. “I’ve already cried enough, you idiot.”

Leorio couldn’t do anything but smile. A warm, fond smile that he wouldn’t have been able to suppress if he tried. He had never been so happy to hear Kurapika call him an idiot. He had never been so happy to be called an idiot, period.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Kurapika demanded, but his voice lacked any bite. His arms were still loosely wrapped around Leorio’s waist, and Leorio’s hand was still in Kurapika’s hair. He wasn’t sure if now was the right time, but he knew Kurapika well enough to know that moments like these– open and vulnerable and completely honest– were few and far in between. Slowly, he slid his hand away from its place in Kurapika’s hair. 

The first stroke of his thumb against Kurapika’s cheek was gentle. Questioning.

Kurapika’s glance wavered for a second, flicking down as if he was thinking it over whether he wanted this or not. He must have gotten to a conclusion, because he closed his eyes and let out a weary sigh as he leaned into Leorio’s touch. The air rolled over his wrist in a small, warm wave and for a second, Leorio let himself marvel at their proximity.

“Kurapika…?”

“Mm?”

“Can I– can I kiss you?”

The words were easier to say than he thought they would be. In fact, he didn’t think about them at all. They just fell out of his mouth on their own accord, as easy and natural as “good morning” or “hello”. Kurapika kept his eyes closed as he brought one hand up to rest on the back of Leorio’s.

“I think so.” he said eventually. Leorio let out a soft huff.

“I need a definite yes or no,” he replied, lightly pressing his forehead against Kurapika’s. He knew he was asking for a lot. He wasn’t about to go rushing in guns ablazing to tear down the wall Kurapika had built around himself. This one brick he’d been allowed to nudge loose didn’t mean he had free reign to start tearing down the rest– this was a delicate process, Leorio gently chipping at the mortar in the fissures that Kurapika let him see.

Kurapika opened his eyes then. A couple of slow blinks and a look that lingered on Leorio’s mouth for a long time. 

“Yes.”

Leorio tilted Kurapika’s chin up as gently as he could, bumping their noses together. He paused, searching his eyes for any sign of uncertainty, but all he found was Kurapika’s bone-deep resolve– the one which both terrified and astonished him.

The arm around Leorio tightened with the first press of lips against lips, still damp and salty from the tears. The next one was slow and steady, courteous. The two of them testing the waters. Kurapika sighed against his mouth, and that spurred Leorio to kiss him in earnest. Long, chaste kisses that tasted like salt and felt like a promise. A wordless agreement to treasure whatever this was for as long as the world would let it last.

If it ended tomorrow or ten years from now– At least they’d had this moment. This one night with their feelings laid bare and nothing left unsaid.

“What happens now?” Leorio asked when finally parted long enough for words. Kurapika took one of Leorio’s hands and held it between both of his.

“I don’t know,” he said, looking down at their fingers as he laced them together. “I’ll be leaving Yorkshin soon. For work.”

Leorio hummed. “And I’ll be busy studying,” He added.

They were quiet for a while. Kurapika alternated between letting go of his hand and then slotting their fingers back together.

“I’m getting scared again,” Kurapika huffed, and it almost sounded like a laugh. He stopped fidgeting and opted to look up at Leorio instead. “I might not come back, you know?”

Leorio didn’t want to think about the implication behind those words. But he knew all too well that it was a possibility, and a plausible one at that.

“I know,” he inhaled sharply and squeezed Kurapika’s hand. “But despite that, can we keep in touch until the worst case scenario happens?”  
Kurapika stared at him without a word for a while. Like he was trying to figure out if Leorio meant what he said. Then he smiled, a small, genuine smile that told Leorio everything he needed to know.

“You really are an idiot,” he whispered, all affection.

“It took you this long to figure it out?” Leorio chuckled and pressed another kiss to the corner of Kurapika’s mouth. 

If holding on to what made him happy meant he was an idiot, then yes– he was an idiot in every sense of the word.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I've been on my leopika bullshit for about 2 years now and it finally manifested in the form of a sad, sappy fic


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